Dear women tired of mediocre white men,

(Artist: Jason Adam Katzenstein, New Yorker)

Dear women tired of mediocre white men,

I’ve heard a lot of you complain about the mediocre white men you date. I’ve heard complaints about how these men mansplain/manologue at you, how they have the same uninspired photos, how everything revolves around them, how few hobbies they have, ohmygod he’s still mansplainning something, and just overall how mashed potatoes they are. On top of all this, I’ve heard a lot of you complain about the sexism and racism of these mediocre white men.

Well I’ve got an alternative for you!

You know how black people have to be twice as good to get promoted? You know how you as women have to be extra assertive just to be seen and heard because men want to ignore you? You know how when these marginalized individuals are given a chance to shine, there inevitably comes a slightly shameful realization of “oh wow, they are actually pretty good and I was wrong…”

WELL, something like that exists in the dating pool for women…Asian men!

I know, this probably isn’t super exciting to hear. I get it. There are still a lot of white managers who aren’t super excited about hiring a black person. Just like there are still a lot of men who have to be convinced into hiring women for actual jobs. But hey, an untapped pool is an untapped pool.

Maybe you’re coming up with justifications for “no” already like “it’s a preference (that happens to align with white supremacy and erasure of Asian bodies),” or, “I’ve never seen an attractive Asian male (while knowing Hollywood and western media goes out of it’s way to present unattractive Asian men or outright erase us).” Or even, “I’m not racist (despite a clearly racist dating preference).”

Just think about it. Let it percolate. Go on another shitty date with a white guy “in finance.”

Consider giving an Asian guy you think is “average” a chance. He might be extraordinary if you really look.


“Average” Asian Male

P.S. Reminder that no single Asian male represents all of us.


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